Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
