I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
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