mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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