i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
