mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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