I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
