i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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