I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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