uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
