I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
