So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
