just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
