You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
