Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize