she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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