At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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