But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
