Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
