I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
