2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
