Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
