Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
