There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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