She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
