I'm lost and stupid without you.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
