how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize