Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
