Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
