I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
