I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
