are you still at the devil's house?
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
