I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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