I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
