3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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