I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
