____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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