Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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