She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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