my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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