But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i just google imaged poop.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
