I hate your face
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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