I don't think we should have started that trash fire
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
he just fucked me for my cheese.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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