Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
