so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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