Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She bit a glass in half.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
So. Much. Porn.
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