I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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