My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
