Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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