all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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