I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
