And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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