I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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