I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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