Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
