all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize