Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
