he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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