she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
