i don't like sucking hair
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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