erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize