But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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