Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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