I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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