Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
