Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
