the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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