The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
