Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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