My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize