i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
