I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
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