She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
