We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
