just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
