Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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