just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
