Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
