my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
