Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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