Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
