I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
