Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Randomize
