I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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