Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
