I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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