Don't you send me to vm
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
