So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
