Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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