i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
